One of my gifted daughters recently called in a completely devastated and distraught state about a bad grade she unexpectedly received. We talked it out, and she decided to
see the professor for guidance. She called again a little while later to say that the grade she received was not a percentage but a raw score that translated to a pretty decent grade!
This got me thinking in many different directions. One is the power of telling someone about a trauma. My daughter had really processed a negative event successfully before the passage of time showed the event in its truer light. It illustrated that talking about trauma is therapeutic in itself, regardless of any planned future actions.
The other thing I thought about was that I could share my own perceptions of her giftedness, and that helped her get unstuck from feeling trapped in a momentarily bad perception of
herself. Perception may be reality, but it shifts when you look at something from a different horizon.
Finally, I wondered if there were a way to preemptively let everybody know all these perceptions of giftedness that I have about them. It seems like many TV scripts have one or more critical Mother characters who really cause their adult children a lot of pain. Father characters, too. Do Parents stop gushing about their kids’ wonderful qualities and talents at some point? Is it not cool?
What about all the other people in our lives? Would our relationships be more enjoyable if we allowed ourselves to share our positive perceptions about each other frequently? Sometimes it seems risky to reveal our love and admiration of other people. When Jesus said love one another, he equated the risk of that to risking our very lives. Jesus understood his emotionally fragile brothers and sisters so very well. Love feels risky, and rejection like death. Social norms can be constricting, causing more people to play it safe.
I am going to be more conscious of my positive perceptions of others, and try to share them with the person more frequently.
Thanks, Professor Whoever, that was a highly unusual and useful way to post grades!
Holy Spirit ANCC (Montandon, PA)